1 Week Down...A Whole Lot More to GO!!

Update - tomorrow, January 8th will be 7 whole days.  1 WEEK!  It doesn't feel like its been a week, its feels like its been 2 or 3 days since I last smoked.  The cravings are really only bad for me after I eat, when I'm bored, or right after Drew goes to bed.  Those were always my "scheduled" smoke breaks (other than the being bored one).  Other than that, I'm fine during the day.  I have to admit, I thought that this time around would be much harder since I didn't have the motivation behind quitting like I did the last time (when I was pregnant and for my own sanity, HAD to quit - failure was not an option).

Tony is doing well, hes had a few hiccups, but overall he is doing awesome in my opinion.  He can't wear the patch at night because it keeps him from sleeping well, so his cravings are pretty bad in the mornings, but hes suffering with the same "schedule" smoke cravings as I am.  I think he is making it much easier for me this time because we are doing this together - I don't have to smell his smoky clothing, etc and try not to indulge - which was the hardest part for me last time.

I am proud of both of us for this accomplishment.  I know one week isn't a huge milestone, but the fact that we were both dedicated to our efforts for an entire week says a ton for me (and him).  WE CAN DO THIS!

Never In My Life Have I Been a Quitter (But hopefully this time I will be!)

As of yesterday, Tony and I officially are attempting to quit smoking...for good this time.

I'm deeply saddened, but its time....

This isn't our first time quitting for either one of us.  Experience #1 - A few years ago, I quit myself for 27 days.  WOW! A whole 27 days...but I went right back.  Most likely the first time I went out and had a drink or two.  There is something about the two habits that just go together!

Experience #2 - Then I quit again for a year while pregnant with Drew.  I did really good to not go back - my first night out with an overnight sitter.  I still have never smoked as much in this past year as I had in the past.  I litterly used to smoke a pack a day before Drew.  Now a pack would last 3 days or so.

As for Tony's experiences, he tried to quit with me during experience 1 listed above, but I'm pretty sure he didn't make it the whole 27 days that I did.  Experience 2 - he quit 1 month before I had Drew.  He fell off that wagon with me.  I'm pretty sure we did it together from what I remember.

What is different this time?  

Well - a few things.  The main push behind all of this is that we don't want our son to grow up with smokers as parents.  Not to mention that we want to be around for all the fun things we get to look forward to as parents and be able to participate in our sons life for some time to come!  The other more driving factor as to the timing is - my health insurance was about to skyrocket for smokers.  Its high enough as it is - and then you factor in the cost of the cigarettes and you are talking a few hundred dollars a month.  That was enough to make me quit!  The final factor for me was that I was sick of smelling like smoke.  Neither of us smoke in our vehicles, but even outdoors you still have the smokers odor - and it just plain stinks.  I'll be happy to kick the stink!

SO - why am I sad?  

We'll, to be quite honest, I enjoy it.  Sounds really weird, but I enjoy smoking.  Not because it makes me look cool or hip - I don't think they relate smoking with those two terms anymore but regardless, the only reason I continued and went back is because of pure enjoyment.  Its not the addiction that drives me to it, its the satisfaction I get from it.  Sounds stupid, but there is just something about a beer and a cigarette that go together.

I'm pretty proud of myself right now...so far, in the 2 days since I had a cigarette, I've had very minimal cravings.  Up until about right now writing this post.  I think this has been the worst so far yet.  Ha Ha!  I'm doing it the way that I did when I found out I was pregnant, COLD TURKEY!  Tony is doing what worked for him the last time and is using the patch.  Hopefully this time around we will stay on the wagon and be quitters for real this time!!

Long Time No See?

Well, its been quite a while since i updated the ol' blog. They cut my ability to do so while at work out and I try with all my might to avoid the computer once I get home from work if at all possible. Lots have happened since I last wrote.

#1 - The smoking issue. Well, that went up in smoke. I don't smoke nearly as much as I used to. For instance, I only had 1 cigarette on Saturday! Not too shabby. (Of course it had nothing to do with the fact that I left my cigs at home and was feeling a bit under the weather....)

#2 - Tony got a job! finally....
There is some traveling involved with this new job though. He left for Garland,TX this morning for two weeks . But as I arrived at his boss's house this morning so he could pick up the trailer, I was assured that he would be home for Easter. He is going to fly him back for the holiday, and then he will have to leave again Monday. I don't mind the traveling as much as he does though. Not that it won't be lonely for a couple of days, but I'm independent and self-sufficient. Maybe I'll actually get some stuff done around the house I've been wanting to do. With no one home to talk too, I'm sure I'll get pretty bored.

#3 - I've returned to the gym. I need to shed some of this weight, SOON! Its getting closer to summer, and the fact that I'm in a wedding in November, I don't want to look like the cow I am now. I also need to be able to run 1.5 miles in under 15 minutes by the middle of May. Tony said I won't be able to do it. The bet is on. I honestly don't know if I will be able to or not. Honestly, I HATE running. I don't like the way I feel, I don't like the pain, and I just really HATE everything about it. But I've heard that it is the quickest way for me to be able to shed these pounds I'm trying to lose. And the fact that someone told me I couldn't do it...watch me.

Thats really the only significant things that have happened since I last posted. Tony's job was the best news I had to post.

Up in Smoke?

2 weeks ago, I posted about how I was on day 4 without a cigarette...one of the hardest things I've ever done...

My question to people that read my posts...How do you think I did?

1) Doing great! Day 18, still no cigarette!

2) I caved, fell off the wagon, threw in the towel. Who am I kidding, I enjoy smoking!

3) Struggling a bit, but I've managed to only smoke when I'm drinking.

So, what do you think? Be honest!

Get Real

Ok, this may sound like the stupidest blog post you might ever read and you might feel a tad bit stupider just from reading it...

I took my acrylic nails off. First time in over 14 years! I didn't think that I even had fingernails under them anymore its been so long since I've seen them. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING!!!!! I can't type, I can't pick things up, its kind of like taking away your opposable thumbs! I know this must sound ridiculous to most of the people that read my blog posts, but to me something just isn't right. Out of balance or something. I don't know if I can't get used to this. I do have to say however, that after having fake nails for so long, my real nails are really not in that bad of shape, which must mean that I go to a very good nail salon and they are not damaging my nail beds!

This is the sad part...I am horrible at painting my own nails. I've never done this before...I've painted my toes, sure, but never my own finger nails. My mom always did it for me growing up, then I've had fakes after that. I've always paid to get my nails done. And obviously, I'm going to have to continue to pay because when I do it, they look like crap. Not to mention that I got nail polish on my couch (which I got out immediately of course).

On another note, I'm on day 4 without a cigarette. Doing good so far...but we will see what the weekend brings. I haven't posted anything about it yet because after my failed attempt last year, I didn't want to be a loser twice. I'm sure I will be, but at least this time, I'm not really having to many cravings. Hmmm....maybe its because Tony is trying to quit with me. Although he's still smoking, he's only been doing about 3-4 a day which is good for him.

A Case of the Mondays...

Monday's suck for me. I don't know why, there is no explanation, doesn't matter whether I do anything exciting, strenuous, etc. on the weekend, Monday's just suck!

And this one officially sucks the big one because I decided this morning to try out Weight Watchers for a bit, just to see what happens. This counting points is for the birds, but so far so good. Tony and I didn't really make any new years resolutions, but rather promises to each other to try to make some improvements to ourselves, some goals to do together, but this was one that I had to do on my own. If he lost any weight, he would just disintegrate.

The next battle for the both of us starts next week (again). We are both going to attempt (try #2 for this year for us) to quit smoking. This will be the hardest goal to accomplish. Tony and I actually quit for 2 days right after new years. We were doing good until I got the call from dad about Grandma one morning, then I threw it out the window and said screw it, give me a cigarette. Tony just followed my lead. For those of you that have read my blogs for some time, you know that I attempted to quit last year and made it a little over a week...I think this time will be easier for me since Tony is quitting with me.

Finally, I am going to try a little harder this year to keep up on keeping the house clean. I'm a bit of a clutter bug, who doesn't pick up after myself, and at times, just plain lazy. Not that Tony is a whole lot better (of course he thinks he is). I'm sick of coming home every night to a messy house - which of course, there is no excuse for especially since Tony has been laid off since last April. But I'm thinking that if maybe I make a better effort at keeping it clean, he will as well. We will see how that goes.