I'm deeply saddened, but its time....
This isn't our first time quitting for either one of us. Experience #1 - A few years ago, I quit myself for 27 days. WOW! A whole 27 days...but I went right back. Most likely the first time I went out and had a drink or two. There is something about the two habits that just go together!
Experience #2 - Then I quit again for a year while pregnant with Drew. I did really good to not go back - my first night out with an overnight sitter. I still have never smoked as much in this past year as I had in the past. I litterly used to smoke a pack a day before Drew. Now a pack would last 3 days or so.
As for Tony's experiences, he tried to quit with me during experience 1 listed above, but I'm pretty sure he didn't make it the whole 27 days that I did. Experience 2 - he quit 1 month before I had Drew. He fell off that wagon with me. I'm pretty sure we did it together from what I remember.
What is different this time?
Well - a few things. The main push behind all of this is that we don't want our son to grow up with smokers as parents. Not to mention that we want to be around for all the fun things we get to look forward to as parents and be able to participate in our sons life for some time to come! The other more driving factor as to the timing is - my health insurance was about to skyrocket for smokers. Its high enough as it is - and then you factor in the cost of the cigarettes and you are talking a few hundred dollars a month. That was enough to make me quit! The final factor for me was that I was sick of smelling like smoke. Neither of us smoke in our vehicles, but even outdoors you still have the smokers odor - and it just plain stinks. I'll be happy to kick the stink!
SO - why am I sad?
We'll, to be quite honest, I enjoy it. Sounds really weird, but I enjoy smoking. Not because it makes me look cool or hip - I don't think they relate smoking with those two terms anymore but regardless, the only reason I continued and went back is because of pure enjoyment. Its not the addiction that drives me to it, its the satisfaction I get from it. Sounds stupid, but there is just something about a beer and a cigarette that go together.
I'm pretty proud of myself right now...so far, in the 2 days since I had a cigarette, I've had very minimal cravings. Up until about right now writing this post. I think this has been the worst so far yet. Ha Ha! I'm doing it the way that I did when I found out I was pregnant, COLD TURKEY! Tony is doing what worked for him the last time and is using the patch. Hopefully this time around we will stay on the wagon and be quitters for real this time!!