Letting it all Out

I know it has been ages since I've blogged about anything. I've had too much going on with my wedding, the holidays, and now the death of my favorite person in the world, my Grandma. I thought I would use this to vent some of my frustrations, feelings, and pain that I've been feeling in the last week.

Bertha Lillian Geiger-Bunch-Bosqui January 22, 1914 - January 6, 2010

I was extremely close to my grandma. She was an extraordinary lady; she had a huge heart, and while she didn't always spoil with monetary items, she spoiled me with love...lots of it. She was there for almost every important event on my life's journey into adulthood. She never missed a play, a band recital, a birthday, Christmas, graduation, and of course, what means the most to me right now, she was there to see me walk down the aisle on my wedding day. (And she partied with us till the very end of the night, she was one of the last to leave)

I have so many memories with grandma, there are too many to just pick a single one. They were all wonderful.

Grandma had a stroke on Sunday, January 3 in the morning. She was awake and talking afterwards, but paralyzed on the left side of her body. They kept her overnight and through Monday. She seemed to be doing much better, until Monday evening, she possibly had another stroke. Tony, Garrett, and I were there Monday night. I sat at her bedside and told her how much I loved her, I cried, and I thought of all those memories. Then she went to sleep. She never woke back up. Hospice moved her home on Tuesday afternoon and Tuesday night, we went and said our goodbyes. I know she could hear us, but just couldn't respond. She took her final breath on Wednesday morning around 11:30.

The days to follow were filled with funeral preparations, lots of family gatherings, and a lot of tears...mostly mine, I think.

I buried my grandmother yesterday. We had a beautiful visitation in the afternoon. Grandma wore her favorite purple dress. She looked so peaceful, and it almost looked as though she was smiling. Mom did her hair for the viewing and did such a great job. She looked just like she did when she was alive. In the casket I put hush puppy with her (its a very long story...long story short, grandma gave me this when I was a little girl and it was something very special between her and I). Around his neck I tied her favorite flower - a single gardenia. We buried her with a picture of Aunt Joan, and picture of her and Garrett and I from our weddings. They placed those in her hands.

Grandma had 5 children, 10 grandchildren, and 10 great-grandchildren.

I can't explain why I feel so much pain. My heart aches like it never has before. I believe that you can prepare for the expected, but you can never prepare yourself enough to endure the loss of someone so close.

Since I was little till now, Grandma has always sat in her rocking chair with her eyes closed as if she were sleeping, rocking and humming tunes from I'm assuming around the 40's era. Sometimes she would just start belting them out. This would have to be my most significant memories of grandma...something that didn't change from year to year, something that stayed constant until the last few weeks. I'm sure grandma is rocking in her chair right now, humming or maybe even singing, with no pain or suffering. That's the way I want to remember her, she was always happy when she was singing.

Bosqui, Bertha L. entered into rest on Wednesday, January 6, 2010. Born Jan. 22, 1914 to Mathias and Ada Geiger. Beloved mother of Donald (Joyce) Bunch, Elaine (Ron) Hensley, Joan Bunch, Frank (Susie) Bosqui and Cheryl (late Cliff) Woomer; cherished grandmother of Don Jr., Mary, Susan, Daniel, Teri, Julie, Tamra, Deandra, Garrett and Clifford; dear great-grandmother of Thomas, Kristen, Angela, Nicole, Ashley, Staci, Diana, Allison, Benjamin and Adam. She was preceded in death by her first husband Frank Bunch, second husband Daniel Bosqui and granddaughter Diana. Our dear aunt, great-aunt, and friend of many. Services: Visitation will be held Tue., Jan. 12 from 1:00 p.m. until the time of service at 3:00 p.m. at FOREVER BELLERIVE Funeral Chapel (740 N. Mason Rd. Creve Coeur, MO 63141). Interment Forever Bellerive Mausoleum. In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to the American Diabetes Association (10820 Sunset Office Dr., Suite 220, St. Louis, MO 63127).